am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
