I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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