I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
