can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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