If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
