I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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