What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
