he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize