You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
