why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
