would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
