im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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