i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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