At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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