Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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