Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
