but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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