You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
