Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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