What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
