i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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