the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
