Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
