Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
