I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
