morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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