he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
