I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
