Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
