So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
