I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
