She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Everything about him screamed your future.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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