Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
