I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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