Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
