I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
