This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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