He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
