Cold hands, warm shart.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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