im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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