How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
