...so i touched it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
