Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
