Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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