he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
