Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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