I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
