like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
