I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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