Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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