He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
