If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
