what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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