It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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