Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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