Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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