Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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