didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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