Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
