remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize