Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
