Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
